I kind of love the Timehop app. It lets me look back at the things that I’ve tweeted and posted to Facebook in years past and reminds me of how hilarious I am. Yes, I do laugh at my own jokes. Deal with it. Anyway, today, Timehop reminded me that, a year ago, I live-tweeted as I watched The Little Mermaid. It gave me a decent laugh. So I thought I’d share it here…

• That fish that gets away at the start of The Little Mermaid seems unconcerned that the rest of his school will be dinner for sailors.
• “Oh, good, I can still make it to the mermaid concert!” – Fish at the beginning of The Little Mermaid
• Why are people surprised that Ariel’s not in the clam shell at the concert? No one noticed her not getting in it?
• What’s wrong with guppies? Why is “guppy” used as a derogatory term?
• Why does Ariel rely on a bird that is clearly an idiot as her human-made object expert?
• Why doesn’t she have a security detail? Ariel’s royalty. There must be kidnapping threats.
• Triton is clearly racist.
• Should a tiny crab be questioning the king’s parenting skills to his face?
• Next time on Hoarders: Ariel, the Little Mermaid, and her underwater cavern of mysterious human-made objects.
• Who needs 20 thingamabobs? It’s a little greedy.
• Sebastian knocks stuff off shelves, and they come crashing down. Instead of floating slowly. Because they’re underwater.
• Ariel has amazing arm strength, pulling herself up the side of the ship without the use of legs.
• Scuttle thinks the “human” Ariel is talking about is the dog. Again, good expert on human things.
• Who presents someone with a big honkin’ statue while at sea?
• Eric’s statue must be hollow. It floated there for a second before sinking beneath the surface.
• How can Ursula assume Ariel is in love with a human? She’s known him for six hours. And he was unconscious for most of that.
• How can Ariel say she loves the human? She’s known him for less than a day. And he was unconscious for most of that.
• Why would Sebastian use the word human in front of Triton. He knows how this guy reacts to them.
• How did Flounder get that statue into her cavern? Even if he was strong enough, there is no opening large enough.
• “They’re all the same!” – Triton, the racist sea king.
• “Daddy, I love him!” – Ariel, the Little Mermaid who clearly doesn’t know what love is.
• What to do when you’re upset: throw yourself face down on the nearest flat surface and cry.
• Also, when I’m upset, I like talking to creepy eels about my problems.
• You’re ready to trade your greatest asset and the only way Eric can identify you to Ursula? Good decision.
• I don’t know much about maritime law, but Ariel is a minor. This contract is null and void.
• Good thing Flounder and Sebastian followed her. If they hadn’t pulled her to the surface, Ariel would’ve drowned.
• Eric finds a girl wrapped up in a discarded sail and assumes she’s the girl who saved him.
• Eric realizes she can’t speak and assumes she couldn’t be the girl who saved him. Because people can’t lose their voices.
• That French chef might be psychotic. And not in a Gordon Ramsay kind of way.
• Although, if a crab caused me to burn my hand while dropping a skillet on my foot, I might thirst for vengeance, too.
• “My kingdom?” You’re a prince, Eric. You mean a tour of your father’s kingdom.
• Triton shouldn’t beat himself up too much. Ariel was a hoarder. Destroying her cave was the intervention she needed.
• Grimsby encourages Eric to pursue the voiceless Ariel. “You mean the crazy girl combing her hair with a fork?”
• Vanessa shows up and, judging by the look on Eric’s face, she’s used the Imperius curse on him.
• Why wasn’t Ariel invited to the wedding?
• It is 5 minutes ’til sunset and Ariel can’t swim. There’s no way she makes it to that boat in time.
• “We made a deal,” says Ursula, hiding behind a contract signed by a minor.
• I wonder if Ursula was embarrassed when she started inking all over the place.
• When all those merpeople turned back to normal, did they get to keep Ursula’s upgrades that they couldn’t pay for?
• Triton could turn Ariel human this whole time? Next time don’t deal with a witch, huh?