I’m not good at compliments. I’m not good at receiving them. I’m not good at giving them. It’s just not an activity that I excel in. But, really, if it doesn’t involve sarcasm or singing like an angel, it’s probably not something I excel in.

Let’s start with receiving compliments. I guess that’s not something that anyone can really be bad at. Basically, you just have to sit there and take it. I can do that. The problem is that I don’t always feel like I deserve a compliment that’s been paid my way. I don’t necessarily like to be recognized for a job well done. I mean, I appreciate the recognition, but knowing that I did what I was supposed to do is generally enough for me.

Now for giving compliments out, I don’t usually do it. It’s not that I don’t notice things or that I don’t believe people deserve to be complimented. I’m just avoiding responses. And that comes down to conversation being my personal kryptonite.

I don’t want to tell a woman that I’m not interested in that her new hairstyle looks nice because I don’t want her to think I’m hitting on her. I don’t want to tell a woman that I am interested in that her new hairstyle looks nice because I don’t want her to think I’m being creepy. And I don’t want to tell any dude that I’ve noticed anything at all because I just don’t want to give the impression that my door swings that way. “Dude, I’m not hitting on you. But you’ve got a nice face.”

But this is all because I’m assuming these people are thinking something they probably aren’t. Is it so wrong to assume that people, in general, are constantly analyzing the motives of others in everything they say and do? Is it possible for me to mention that the dress she’s wearing is pretty without her believing I have ulterior motives?

Yes, I noticed your haircut. Yes, it looks lovely. No, I’m not gonna say anything. I’m gonna stand over here and keep my mouth shut. Just assume I think you’re pretty and I’m just too nervous to say anything about it. Maybe it’s true, maybe it isn’t. But if you assume it is, won’t you feel a little better about yourself anyway?