The Single Guy vs. the Pedicure

Back in July, the kids’ ministry department of my church was extremely busy. Because July was when, for the first time, we put on a week long kids’ day camp. The event was what most people think of when they think of Vacation Bible School. But it wasn’t Vacation Bible School. It was MOVE Summer Kids’ Camp.

Don’t ask me what MOVE stands for. I’m not sure it stands for anything. So I’m not too sure why all the letters are capitalized. Make Ovens Very Early. Master Of Vest Edibility. I don’t know.

Anyway, it was a great week. We had 85 kids. They played games, sang songs, learned about Jesus, and were encouraged to MOVE toward a relationship with Him. See what I did there? So it was awesome. But it was also stressful.

Early in the week, I discovered that our children’s ministry director and intern each had messages on the backs of their ID badges reminding them that pedicures were coming on Friday. I cried foul, complaining that I wasn’t invited to get a pedicure. All I had on my ID badge was the daily schedule. Was I being left out because I was a guy? As the children’s ministry assistant, I felt that I should be included in this sort of relaxing activity.

Actually, over time, I’ve developed something of a complex when it comes to being left out of things. During the school year, I miss out on all kinds of things that the rest of the church staff get to do. So most of those things involve, simply, going to lunch after weekly staff meetings, but those are really fun, okay?!

And so, after making my feelings known, I was allowed to tag along on the Friday pedicure trip. It’s not that anyone was actively trying to exclude me. They just didn’t think I’d want to get my toes did because I’m a dude.

I’ve never had a pedicure before. I’ve always assumed that no one would want to touch my feet with a 10 foot pole. I mean, I don’t even like touching my feet. It seems cruel to make someone else work on my toes, even if it’s in exchange for money. See, what I have on my toes aren’t so much nails as they are talons. It’s disturbing.The Single Guy vs the Pedicure - Dumb and DumberFriday finally arrived and we were ready to treat ourselves to pedicures after a stressful week. But we didn’t have appointments. The thought was, at 10 a.m. on a Friday, the nail salon should be pretty empty, right? We drove to three different places and they were all booked. It just wasn’t meant to be.

The ladies told me I should still try to get a pedicure. But I’m just not sure how comfortable I am walking into a nail salon by myself and asking for a pedicure. So this is a thing that still has not happened in my life. And I’ve been told that we’ll still all go together to get pedicures. But now that school has started back, my availability for a daytime outing is nonexistent. I’m just not sure they’ll all want to get together for a late afternoon pedicure.

I feel like it’s inevitable that I’ll roll into church one day and they’ll say, “Sorry, Aaron, we went without you.” And then I’ll cry. And then, I guess, I’ll be forced to clip my own toenails.The Single Guy vs the Pedicure - Treat Yo Self


5 thoughts on “The Single Guy vs. the Pedicure

  1. Go get one! And ignore the inevitable judgmental gibberish from the ladies in the salon. We have ALL endured it at some point. You’ll feel great afterward and your tootsies will thank you for it!
    Be brave and be bold! You can DO IT!


  2. If you want a pedicure, by all means go get one!
    I had my first professional pedi last year and I was terrified for reasons similar to yours. But all went well. I’d probably do it again, but I can’t justify the expense when I can soak my feet at home.


  3. I’ve got a reciprocating saw and 60 grit sandpaper- I’d be happy to offer you a pedicure, haha. But I do understand the part about being left out of things- happens to me a lot and makes me feel unwanted. Maybe it’s because I offer services like a pedicure with saws and sandpaper though. Nah, that can’t be it.


  4. Pingback: The Single Guy vs. the Pedicure, Part 2 – The Confusing Middle

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