More Pointless Training

In the world of banking, the people on the front lines of the industry are known as tellers. These are the people who are expected to help customers with all of their day to day banking needs. It is often a thankless and miserable position to hold. These are their stories. These are their legends…

Bank Teller 4When working for the bank, it seemed that the training sessions would never end. “We can’t make all of our customers happy, so we’re gonna make each of our employees sit through no less than 90 hours of training so they can learn how to make all of our customers happy, all of the time,” said the bank’s head honcho (who had never dealt with a customer in his life), “Don’t feed me that crap about it being impossible to make all the people happy all the time. Find a way to make it happen!”

I was forced, yet again, to sit through some customer service training. It was possibly the most boring day of my life up to that point.

First, let’s address the woman who taught the class. She introduced herself as a Memphis native. now, I’m not sure if all Memphisites tend to talk slowly or if it was just her. Someone out there, please, let me know. I had an uncle that lived in the Memphis area for a few years and I don’t remember him ever speaking so freakin’ slowly.

Another issue I had with her was that she tended to repeat herself. A lot. And it wasn’t as if she was trying to get a point across. She had catchphrases that she kept saying over and over and over again. At one point, I thought I would have to get up and walk out if I heard her say “Y’all get that?” one more time. Seriously, she had to have ended every other sentence with “Y’all get that?” It started sounding like nails on a chalkboard.

We broke for lunch at 11:45 and, by that time, I was already praying for the sweet release of death.

The entire day was pointless. We were “taught” how to do the things that we had already been doing for the previous four months. We were “taught” how to do the things that anyone with a single ounce of common sense would know how to do anyway.

I should have asked my manager if a class like that was actually necessary. He would have probably said no then made me go anyway, but at least I’d have known what I was getting myself into.


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