Well, boys and girls, today was the last day of school. In some ways, it felt like this school year took forever to reach the end. In other ways, it kind of flew by. Throughout the year, if you’re a Facebook friend, you’ve seen the occasional status update that shows up under the heading “Overheard @ School”. If you aren’t my friend on Facebook, then these are all brand new to you. These are the quotes that I hear from kids and teachers that usually make me laugh in the moment. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.
Teacher: That’s George Washington Carver. Do you know what he invented?
Teacher: Atticus, do you know where your parents got your name?
Atticus: It’s from a book called How to Kill a Mockingbird.
Kindergartener: Did you know my daddy was an arm wrestler a long time ago? He was so good he won a big truck!
Me: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s just the plot from Over the Top.
Teacher: If you copy someone else’s hard work, that’s called plagiarism and it’s against the law.
2nd grader: Well, that’s a silly law.
Teacher: He looks so sweet and innocent all dressed up in his suit.
Me: Yeah, so did the kid from The Omen.
Kid: They’re like periods in the desert. You know, the ones made with sand bricks.
Teacher: What is sandpaper?
Kid: Paper you take to the beach!
Kindergartener: Did you know that drains go all the way to the ocean and a boat might get pee on it?
Kid: Actually, I dress myself at night.
Teacher: So you slept in those clothes you’re wearing?
Kid: Yeah, what’d you think I wore? Pajamas? (Note that the child asked this like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.)
Teacher: Can you tell me when your birthday is?
Kid: July 86th.
Child: You know that big doughnut machine? It looked at my head and there wasn’t anything in there!
Teacher: You said it, not me.
Teacher: Who are they? (referring to Orville and Wilbur Wright)
Kid: The Flight Brothers!
Kid kneeling in an awkward position: It hurts my legs whenever I sit like this!
Teacher: Then don’t sit like that!
Guidance Counselor: Who knows the story about four leaf clovers? They’re supposed to be good…?
Counselor: “Everyone” starts with a…?
Teacher: What’s your favorite bug you’ve caught?
Kid: A roly-poly.
Teacher: What’s the biggest bug you’ve caught?
Kid: A roly-poly.
Teacher: Have you ever caught anything other than roly-polies?
He showed his… (counting) third finger! That’s like saying a bad word with your hands! – Kindergartener explaining why the middle finger is bad.