I had a long day yesterday. It was a day that involved yelling, screaming, crying, swearing, and ramming my head into a big, metaphorical brick wall. So when I got home, I really wanted to relax. Of course, this meant changing into a comfortable, old, worn-out t-shirt and some shorts.

Once I was unrestricted by the confines of a belt and button down shirt, I sat down ad turned on the television. That’s when I felt it. That distinct feeling that something was on me. Something was crawling across my shoulder and onto my neck.

Is it on me? I feel like it’s on me…

Bugs don’t typically bother me. Insects and spiders are usually okay in my book. The understanding is that if they leave me alone, I’ll leave them alone. My view is that, for the most part, they serve their purpose. More often than not, I just let them be to do their thing. If they’re invading my space, I’ll try to move them outside before exploring the kill option. All right, I admit if it’s a black widow or brown recluse I go straight to red alert and obliterate them. Those things can cause some pretty serious damage with a bite. Not Australian spider serious, but serious nonetheless.

So I’m pretty passive with most creepy crawlies most of the time. But if anything is on me, all bets are off. I don’t care if it’s a spider or a caterpillar or a ladybug. If I feel it without seeing it first, it’s open season. My reaction to that feeling of crawling across my shoulder and onto my neck was to smack, grab, then rip the thing off my skin. In other words, panic ensued.

Little did I know, the thing moving across my skin was simply a loose thread from the seam on the shoulder of my shirt. Therefore, I didn’t realize that by smacking, grabbing, then ripping, I was actually tearing apart my t-shirt. That seam didn’t stand a chance.

Single Guy – 1; Wardrobe – 0