I’m not a big fan of wasting time. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll binge watch the crap out of some shows on Netflix. But that’s not necessarily a waste of time, right? I know I’m not finding the cure for cancer or anything, but I am being entertained. I’m sure that has some value.

No, the waste of time I’m talking about is the kind that requires you to do something that you don’t really need to do. Here’s the thing, I work in an elementary school. In order to do that, one needs to pass background checks and have certifications for things such as CPR and First Aid. But, since I’m about to begin a new chapter in life, in which I work toward a teaching certificate, I had to go and get recertified for CPR and First Aid. Also, there’s a little thing called the AED that I have to know how to use, too.

I’ve taken CPR about 74 times. I know, they change things in how the whole procedure is supposed to go down. Which is why the certification only lasts for two years. But it’s only been a year since I was last certified. I feel like I was understandably annoyed. Going into the whole thing, I knew the only missing piece of my certification puzzle was the AED portion. The AED is the Automated External Defibrillator, if you weren’t aware. It’s a machine that tells you what to do and how to do it. Being trained in using the thing seemed slightly redundant prior to taking the course. Then again, I really want to be a teacher, so I’ll jump through whatever hoops I need to jump through to make that a reality.

And let me tell you, the Adult/Pediatric CPR/First Aid/AED course ain’t cheap. Also, it’s a popular class. By the time I waited to have the money to afford it, there were only so many days left before the deadline to have the certification. When I went online to sign up for the course, the closest available location was in a tiny town about two and a half hours away from home.

That class was scheduled to begin at 9am, meaning an early wake up call on a Saturday morning. I typed the destination address into the GPS on my phone and followed it, like a trusting fool. Somewhere along the way, it randomly changed my destination. Not sure if it became self aware and just decided to send me to my death or what. Luckily I was clever enough to realize what the girl in my phone was doing before she directed me into a reservoir. I retyped the destination address into the GPS and discovered I’d only overshot it by a couple of miles.

This time I got to where I was supposed to be. At least, that’s what I thought. And that’s what six other CPR students thought, too. We all arrived before 9am to find the building locked up tight. Now, it wasn’t too long before 9, so it was odd that no one had opened the main entrance yet. As time passed, we were all clueless as to what our next move should be. So I pulled out my phone and called the Red Cross to voice our collective concerns. The woman on the other end of the line said we should give the instructor about half an hour and if he or she had not arrived by then to call back and they would reschedule each of us for another day.

I didn’t say it at the time, but that really didn’t work for me. I work during the week and my next two weekends are booked solid. After that, if I don’t have this certification, I don’t get to start working on the whole teaching thing. I could not afford any delay. But I waited. Well, we waited. And then myself and one of the other students decided to go to the fire station next door to see if maybe we’d all gotten the address wrong. Not likely, but what would it hurt?

A helpful firefighter let us know that the Red Cross facility was located at the back of the school. Not that any of us had that kind of information provided to us by the Red Cross. A sign may have been helpful. Something like, “Hey, if you’re here for training, we’ve got some armless, legless torsos that need saving! Come around back!”

We began the class half an hour later than scheduled. Somehow, we managed to get done early. I think the guy felt sorry for me, having to drive another 2.5 hours back home again. I’d love to say I learned something new about the CPR and the First Aid. But I didn’t. And I’m pretty sure I spent more time in my car than I did in that class. I’m a little tired of driving in the rain. Because it rained the entire time I was on the road. But, hey, one less hoop to jump through.