Scary Movie series

2000-2013

Directed by Keenan Ivory Wayans; David Zucker; Malcolm D. Lee

Welcome back to Movie Monday, where I’m steadily working my way through my list of the 100 worst movies I’ve ever seen. This week, we’ve arrived at number 64: the Scary Movie franchise. As always, this list is based entirely on my personal opinion, so something I hate might be something you absolutely love. And if that’s the case with the Scary Movie series, I genuinely envy your ability to find enjoyment where I could not.

Let me start by saying I cannot believe I’ve watched more than one of these movies. The first one should have been sufficient warning to stay away from the rest. Yet somehow, like a character in a horror movie who decides to investigate the strange noise in the basement, I kept coming back. Perhaps there’s a meta-commentary about horror movie victims somewhere in there.

The Original Sin: Scary Movie (2000)

In July 2000, the Wayans brothers unleashed Scary Movie upon an unsuspecting world. Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans and written by Marlon and Shawn Wayans (who also starred), the film primarily parodied Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer, two slasher films that were already borderline self-parodies to begin with.

The plot, if you can call it that, follows Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) and her friends who accidentally hit a man with their car, dump his body in a lake, and swear to secrecy. A year later, someone wearing a Ghostface mask begins hunting them one by one. If this sounds eerily similar to the plot of actual horror movies, that’s because it is. The Scary Movie franchise is less about creating original scenarios and more about recreating scenes from other films with the subtle comedic approach of a sledgehammer to the face.

What’s most fascinating about the original Scary Movie is that it was actually a commercial success, grossing $278 million worldwide against a $19 million budget. It became the highest-grossing R-rated comedy until The Hangover took that title in 2009. This success, of course, meant one thing: sequels. Many, many sequels.

Interestingly, “Scary Movie” was actually the working title for Scream before Dimension Films decided on the latter. So in a way, Scary Movie returned the original title to its spiritual home: a film about scary movies. How poetic. How terrible.

The Inevitable Sequel: Scary Movie 2 (2001)

Not content with the damage done by the first film, the Wayans brothers returned just one year later with Scary Movie 2, which shifted focus from slasher films to supernatural horror, primarily spoofing The Exorcist and The Haunting.

The film opens with a parody of The Exorcist, featuring James Woods and Andy Richter as priests attempting to exorcise a demon from a young girl. If you thought the first film pushed the boundaries of good taste, Scary Movie 2 decided to eliminate those boundaries entirely. The rest of the film follows Cindy, Brenda, Ray, and Shorty as they visit a haunted house as part of a psychology experiment, where they encounter all manner of supernatural phenomena.

Made for a significantly higher budget of $45 million, Scary Movie 2 grossed $141.2 million worldwide—a substantial drop from its predecessor but still enough to be considered a success. However, this marked the end of the Wayans brothers’ involvement with the franchise, leaving the door open for a new creative direction… or lack thereof.

New Direction, Same Jokes: Scary Movie 3 (2003)

With the Wayans brothers out, Dimension Films brought in comedy veteran David Zucker (of Airplane! and The Naked Gun fame) to direct. This film also marked a shift from R-rated to PG-13 humor, presumably to appeal to a wider audience. I’d argue they were just casting a wider net of disappointment.

Scary Movie 3 primarily spoofed The Ring, Signs, and somewhat inexplicably, 8 Mile. Anna Faris returned as Cindy Campbell, now a news reporter investigating crop circles and a deadly videotape. The film also added Leslie Nielsen as the U.S. President and Charlie Sheen as a farmer dealing with alien invaders. Because nothing says “coherent storytelling” like mashing up cursed videotapes, crop circles, and rap battles.

This installment actually performed better than its predecessor, grossing $220.7 million worldwide. It seems the change in direction and tone worked from a commercial standpoint, even if the critical reception remained lukewarm at best.

More of the Same: Scary Movie 4 (2006)

David Zucker returned to direct the fourth installment, which primarily parodied War of the Worlds, Saw, The Village, and The Grudge.

The plot, such as it is, involves Cindy Campbell taking a job as a caretaker for an elderly woman in a haunted house, while alien tripods invade Earth. Meanwhile, Tom Ryan (Craig Bierko, parodying Tom Cruise’s character in War of the Worlds) attempts to protect his children from the invasion. There’s also a Saw parody featuring Dr. Phil and Shaquille O’Neal, because why not?

Scary Movie 4 grossed approximately $178.7 million worldwide, making it the third highest-grossing film in the series. This was intended to be the final film in the franchise and the last to feature Anna Faris and Regina Hall. But as we know all too well from horror movies, the villain never stays dead for long.

The Unnecessary Revival: Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Seven years after what was supposed to be the conclusion of the series, Dimension Films decided to resurrect the franchise with Scary Movie 5. Neither Anna Faris nor Regina Hall returned, and the film instead starred Ashley Tisdale as a new character named Jody.

The film primarily parodied Paranormal Activity, Black Swan, and Mama, with a splash of Rise of the Planet of the Apes thrown in for good measure. The plot follows Jody and her husband Dan as they adopt three mysterious children and soon discover that they’re being haunted by a demon named Mama.

Scary Movie 5 was both a critical and commercial disappointment, grossing only $78.6 million worldwide—less than half of what the previous installment made. It currently holds an abysmal 4% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which, considering the low bar set by its predecessors, is genuinely impressive.

The Legacy: A Franchise That Refuses to Die

Despite the dismal performance of the fifth film, it appears that the Scary Movie franchise is not quite dead yet. As of April 2024, a sixth installment is reportedly in development, with the Wayans brothers returning to the series after an 18-year absence. The film is scheduled for release on June 12, 2026.

This resurrection begs the question: Why? Was the world clamoring for another Scary Movie? Are there not enough terrible parody films in existence? The answer, as always in Hollywood, comes down to money. Despite declining quality and returns, these films are relatively inexpensive to make and have a built-in audience, making them a safe bet for studios.

What Makes These Movies So Bad?

To understand why the Scary Movie franchise lands at number 64 on my worst movies list, we need to talk about the nature of parody itself.

Great parody requires intimate knowledge of and genuine affection for the source material. It should cleverly subvert expectations while highlighting the absurdities inherent in the original. Films like Airplane! and Young Frankenstein succeed because they understand the genres they’re parodying and build their humor from that understanding.

The Scary Movie franchise, by contrast, often seems content to merely reference other films rather than actually parody them. The humor frequently relies on shock value, gross-out gags, and surface-level observations rather than wit or insight. Pointing at a popular movie and saying “Remember this?” is not parody; it’s a lazy reference.

Additionally, the franchise suffers from diminishing returns. The first film, for all its flaws, at least had the novelty of directly spoofing slasher films that were ripe for parody. Each subsequent installment felt increasingly desperate, throwing everything at the wall to see what might stick.

Box Office Performance: How Did They Keep Making Money?

One of the most perplexing aspects of the Scary Movie franchise is its commercial success:

• Scary Movie (2000): $278 million worldwide
• Scary Movie 2 (2001): $141.2 million worldwide
• Scary Movie 3 (2003): $220.7 million worldwide
• Scary Movie 4 (2006): $178.7 million worldwide
• Scary Movie 5 (2013): $78.6 million worldwide

In total, the franchise has grossed nearly $900 million worldwide against a combined budget of approximately $172 million. Those are numbers that make studio executives salivate, regardless of critical reception.

Critical Reception: A Race to the Bottom

Speaking of critical reception, the Scary Movie franchise has steadily declined in this department:

• Scary Movie: 51% on Rotten Tomatoes
• Scary Movie 2: 13% on Rotten Tomatoes
• Scary Movie 3: 35% on Rotten Tomatoes
• Scary Movie 4: 34% on Rotten Tomatoes
• Scary Movie 5: 4% on Rotten Tomatoes

It’s almost impressive how consistently poor these ratings are, with a brief uptick for the third film before plummeting to new depths with the fifth.

Conclusion: Why I Can’t Believe I Watched More Than One

In retrospect, I should have learned my lesson after the first Scary Movie. It provided all the evidence I needed that this franchise wasn’t for me. Yet somehow, like a moth to a particularly unfunny flame, I kept returning.

Perhaps there’s something to be said for the franchise’s shameless commitment to its brand of humor. It knows what it is and makes no apologies for it. In a world of films trying to be something they’re not, there’s a strange integrity in the Scary Movie franchise’s steadfast dedication to being exactly what it promises: a series of broad, crass parodies of popular horror films.

Or maybe I’m being too generous. Maybe they’re just bad movies that somehow managed to make money, leading to more bad movies, in an endless cycle of cinematic suffering.

Either way, the Scary Movie franchise earns its place at number 64 on my worst movies list, not necessarily because it’s the most offensive or incompetent series ever made, but because of its wasted potential. Parody, when done right, can be brilliant. The Scary Movie franchise reminds us how rarely it’s done right.

Join me next week when I’ll be tackling number 63 on my list. I promise it won’t involve any cursed videotapes or alien invasions, but I can’t guarantee it will be any better.

What are your thoughts on the Scary Movie franchise? Are you one of those people who actually enjoys these films? Let me know in the comments below!