Welcome back to Rewatching Smallville, my weekly dive into the iconic series that explores Clark Kent’s journey before becoming Superman. Whether you’re a long-time fan or new to the show, you’re invited to join in each Tuesday as I revisit episodes and share my thoughts and observations. Be sure to share your own memories and theories in the comments below!

Ah, Smallville. The show where a teenage Superman’s biggest challenge isn’t fighting supervillains, but navigating the treacherous waters of high school drama. In “Redux,” the 27th episode of the series, we’re treated to a heaping helping of family drama, age-sucking kisses, and the eternal question: “Will Lana and Clark ever get together?” (Spoiler alert: We’ve got about seven more seasons of “will they, won’t they” to go, folks.)

The “Olds” Are New Again

The episode kicks off with a splash – literally. We’re poolside at Smallville High, where Clark Kent is about to face off against Troy Turner in a swim race. Troy, clearly a scholar of the “kiss for good luck” school of thought, smooches his girlfriend Chrissy Parker before diving in. But faster than you can say “chlorine,” Troy’s in trouble, and Clark has to save him. When they pull Troy out, he’s suddenly gone from high school hottie to senior citizen. Talk about a glow down.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Another day, another weird occurrence in Smallville.” But hold onto your meteor rocks, because this is just the beginning of our journey into the fountain of youth… in reverse.

Family Feuds and Financial Woes

Meanwhile, at the Kent Farm, Martha and Jonathan are having a riveting discussion about… checks notes… financial problems. Because nothing says “superhero origin story” quite like impending bankruptcy. Martha suggests asking her father for help, which goes over about as well as kryptonite at a Superman convention.

Clark, ever the eavesdropper (super-hearing comes in handy), bursts in demanding to know why he’s never met his grandfather. Jonathan’s response? “Bad blood.” Very descriptive, Pa Kent. Very descriptive indeed.

New Principal, Old Grudges

In a twist that surprises absolutely no one, Smallville High gets a new principal. Because apparently, the turnover rate for school administrators in this town is higher than Clark’s vertical leap. Enter Principal Terrence Reynolds, who immediately takes a dislike to Clark for… being friends with Lex Luthor? Seems legit.

We soon learn that Reynolds was the headmaster at Excelsior Academy when Lex attended. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence and won’t lead to any dramatic confrontations later in the episode. (Spoiler: It totally does.)

Lana Lang: Amateur Genealogist

While Clark’s dealing with family drama, Lana’s busy uncovering her own ancestral mysteries. She finds an old photo of her mother hugging an unidentified man, dated after her parents were married. Cue the dramatic music and existential crisis!

Lana, in true teen drama fashion, immediately jumps to the conclusion that this mystery man must be her real father. Because in Smallville, the simplest explanation is never the correct one. Why assume it’s a family friend when you can have a full-blown identity crisis instead?

Chrissy Parker: The Original Catfish

Remember Chrissy, Troy’s girlfriend from the beginning? Well, it turns out she’s not just your average high school student. No, she’s a century-old life-sucker who stays young by kissing the life force out of teenage boys. Talk about your killer kisses.

Chloe, our intrepid teen journalist, discovers that Chrissy has been enrolling in high schools since the 1920s. Because apparently, the American education system is so flawed that no one notices when the same student keeps reappearing decade after decade. Or maybe they just thought she was really committed to getting that diploma.

Clark Kent: Future Journalist?

In a bit of foreshadowing that’s about as subtle as a freight train, Clark writes an essay about his future plans, mentioning that he might want to pursue journalism. Gee, I wonder where that career path might lead him? Perhaps to a certain metropolitan newspaper? With a habit of wearing glasses to work? Just spitballing here.

The Grandfather Clause

William Clark, Martha’s estranged father, finally makes an appearance. And boy, does he know how to make an entrance. He manages to insult Jonathan’s lifestyle choices, criticize Martha’s life decisions, and still come off as the wronged party. It’s a masterclass in passive-aggressive family dynamics.

Clark, ever the optimist, tries to play peacemaker. But faster than you can say “dysfunctional family reunion,” Jonathan and William are at each other’s throats. It’s like Thanksgiving came early to Smallville.

The Life-Sucking Finale

In true Smallville fashion, the episode climaxes with a showdown between Clark and our villain-of-the-week, Chrissy. She’s about to plant a deadly smooch on Principal Reynolds (because apparently, she’s not picky about her victims’ age), when Clark and Pete swoop in to save the day.

Clark manages to knock Chrissy out before she can complete her life-sucking kiss. Without a fresh dose of youth, she ages rapidly and… turns to dust? Look, I don’t make the rules of meteor-rock-induced superpowers. I just report on them.

Wrapping Up with a Bow (and a Twist)

As the dust settles (quite literally in Chrissy’s case), we’re left with a few loose ends:

1. Clark learns that he’s the reason for the rift between his parents and grandfather. Because in true superhero fashion, he has to feel guilty about something.
2. Lana discovers that her parents were separated for a year, adding fuel to the “mystery dad” fire. Because one family drama per episode just isn’t enough.
3. Clark decides he wants to pursue journalism, setting up his future career at the Daily Planet. Subtle foreshadowing? Never heard of it.

Final Thoughts

“Redux” gives us a classic Smallville cocktail: one part family drama, one part teenage angst, and a generous splash of supernatural weirdness. Shake well with some meteor rocks, and you’ve got yourself an episode.

While we didn’t get any vehicular accidents in this one (a rarity for Smallville, where cars seem to crash more often than they actually transport people), we did get to see a swimming pool claim a victim. So… progress?

In the end, “Redux” reminds us that no matter how super you are, family drama will always find a way to bring you back down to Earth. And if that doesn’t work, there’s always a life-sucking centenarian posing as a high school student to keep things interesting.

Stay tuned for the next episode, where I’m sure absolutely nothing weird will happen in Smallville. (Narrator: But weird things did, in fact, continue to happen in Smallville.)