Welcome back to Rewatching Smallville, my weekly dive into the iconic series that explores Clark Kent’s journey before becoming Superman. Whether you’re a long-time fan or new to the show, you’re invited to join in each Tuesday as I revisit episodes and share my thoughts and observations. Be sure to share your own memories and theories in the comments below!

Well, well, well, lucky episode number 13 of Smallville is upon us, and it’s a doozy. In “Kinetic,” we’re introduced to a gang of tattoo-laden, wall-phasing thieves who decide to rob Lex Luthor blind. I mean, who doesn’t just waltz into the Luthor mansion whenever they feel like it, right? Apparently, Lex’s security team is too busy twiddling their thumbs to notice.

But I digress. This episode is jam-packed with action, angst, and a sprinkle of Smallville‘s signature melodrama. Poor Chloe gets thrown out of a window by the bad guys, leaving her with a broken arm and a concussion. Clark, our resident hero-in-training, is devastated that he couldn’t save her in time. It’s a stark reminder that even with all his powers, he can’t be everywhere at once.

Speaking of powers, the villains of the week get theirs from meteor rock tattoos, which allow them to phase through walls. It’s a neat concept, but I can’t help but wonder if there’s a single person in Smallville who hasn’t been affected by those pesky space rocks.

Meanwhile, Lana is on a mission to save the Talon from becoming a parking garage. She pitches her idea to Lex, who initially seems as moved as a statue. But wait! Could it be that Lex isn’t just a one-dimensional rich kid? Gasp! He challenges Lana to come up with a better proposal, and she delivers. Character development, folks. You love to see it.

Oh, and let’s not forget about Whitney. The poor guy loses his scholarship and falls in with the wrong crowd. He even gets a snazzy meteor rock tattoo of his own. But fear not, dear readers, Clark is there to save the day (and Whitney) in the nick of time.

Now, let’s talk about the real star of this episode: vehicular accidents. We’ve got a grand total of two! First, Whitney gets thrown in front of a truck by his new “friends,” but thanks to his tattoo, he passes right through it. Later, a car is dropped on one of the gang members, crushing him. Don’t worry, though, Clark manages to save Whitney from the same fate. Neither of these will count toward our series total, however.

In the end, Lex agrees to partner with Lana on the Talon, and the bad guys are hauled off to jail. But not before Lex threatens them with his “I’m a Luthor, don’t mess with me” speech. It’s moments like these that remind us of Lex’s slow but steady descent into villainy.

“Kinetic” may not be the most groundbreaking episode of Smallville, but it’s a solid entry that showcases the show’s strengths: character development, superpowers, and a healthy dose of small-town drama. Plus, it’s always fun to see Clark and Lex’s friendship tested and to witness the seeds of their eventual rivalry being planted.

So, dear readers, what did you think of “Kinetic”? Did you find yourself yelling at the screen every time someone just walked into the Luthor mansion? Or were you too busy keeping count of the vehicular mishaps? Let me know in the comments below!

Driver	Number of Accidents
Johnathan Kent	1
Lex Luthor	3
Whitney Fordman	2
Freak of the Week	5
Random	1
Total:	12