It’s a funny thing, discovering that you’re no longer connected to someone through social media. Did I post something they didn’t agree with? Was I not posting enough to be worth their time? Was I posting too much and it just got obnoxious?
So many thoughts run through my anxious mind over something so trivial as being dropped as a “friend” on Facebook.
I’m really not on Facebook that often these days. In fact, I sometimes toy with the idea of deleting my account altogether, simply because I’m tired of the way people treat each other every day. But then I rationalize… I still like to share my blog posts on social media. That Facebook Marketplace has become a pretty decent place to buy and sell things. And then there’s that whole Memories feature that pulls up old posts from way back when. I mean, I look back at some of the status updates I’ve posted and… man, I’m hilarious.
So I don’t want to 100% eliminate Facebook from my life. Or eliminate my life from Facebook. Even though I rarely get on there and hardly ever post anything worthwhile these days. I don’t scroll through to look at what other people are saying or doing and I don’t look through their pictures. I mean, isn’t that what Instagram is for? And I never use that either…
But the other day I was on Facebook looking through an old friend’s friend list. I had been thinking about a teacher we both had in elementary school and remembered that his family had been friends with her family. Logic dictates that if she, the teacher, was on Facebook, the likelihood of being friends with this guy would be pretty high. At least, that’s the way I figured it… so I thought I’d take a look.
No luck finding that old teacher, unfortunately. But as I scrolled through his list of friends and moved past all of our mutual contacts, I started seeing the names of people we went to school with growing up. People that I know I was friends with on Facebook at one time or another. And now… we’re not friends anymore.
Don’t worry… this isn’t going to cause me to lose sleep. I’m not getting weepy over someone unfriending me on Facebook. I just can’t help but wonder what went into someone making that decision to go through the motions of eliminating me from their friend list.
Sure, I ask those questions that I wrote at the top of this post. But other factors could play into it… Maybe their account got hacked at some point and they had to start a new profile and they just never got around to adding me back as a friend. Seems unlikely… but okay. Maybe one year on their birthday they decided to go through an eliminate anyone who didn’t take time to wish them a happy birthday when Facebook reminded us of what day it was. I know I’ve stopped wishing people happy birthday just because Facebook says so.
I suppose it could be anything. But the question lingers: why kick me off your friend list but not this other guy we went to high school with?
Why me and not him?
Well, then we get into the whole comparing our lives to the lives of other people we see on social media and that just becomes another can of worms that no one should ever deal with.
Have you ever been unceremoniously unfriended by an old acquaintance on Facebook? How did that make you feel? Did you try to “friend” them all over again or were you content to just let it go? Let me know your thoughts down in the comments!
4 thoughts on “The Facebook Friendzone”
I’ve had a couple of friends unfollow me on Instagram. It was a horrible realisation and I ask all the same questions you have asked. I didn’t do anything about it, it went unsaid but I still have those curiosities sadly. I just try not to dwell on it 🙂
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I have deleted my Facebook Account after Unfriending a few people. Most were High School Acquaintances who I have nothing in common with, anymore.
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I did this years ago when I still used Facebook. Unfriended about half my list. I think I was starting to feel uncomfortable by the fact that people I’d probably never talk to again could just eavesdrop on my life. It’s not that they did anything wrong, I just didn’t feel like sharing my life with them anymore.
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I don’t think you need to question yourself. This happens a lot. We may delete friends, and they may unfriend us sometimes. It’s just time to move on your new life and new circle.
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