Dear Predatory Telemarketers,

Please stop calling me.

Ha! Like I actually think saying “please” will get me anywhere with you people.

I know the calls will never stop. But you really need to be smarter about this whole thing, okay? It’s one thing for you to call me on my personal cell phone number, which is the only number I ever put down on anything pertaining to anything I would buy or seek information about or give information about. But you’ve been calling me on my work phone, which is a number that I have not given out to anyone except the clients with whom I work.

I realize this probably means that you, the predatory telemarketer, have likely retrieved this number from a list because whoever had the number before me listed it somewhere at some point. After all, I’ve only had this number since December. The previous user has received a number of text messages on this line from various businesses, doctor’s offices, etc.

So when I get a call from a predatory telemarketer who doesn’t even bother to confirm that I am who they think I am and just go right into the alarming statement that my car insurance policy is about to expire and I’m in big, big trouble, I’m less than alarmed. Look, I realize that there are a lot of stupid people out there who might be gullible enough to fall for whatever you’re selling. You’re a predator for a reason and you wouldn’t exist without some kind of prey to victimize. But I’m not gonna be that guy. I can be gullible from time to time. Everyone has gaps in their knowledge. But calling me on my work phone without bothering to prove you’re calling the right person is not the way to convince me to give you enough information to steal my identity.

On a slightly unrelated note, what’s the deal with stealing people’s phone numbers and making it look like you’re calling from some local, non-fraudulent number? I’m sure that’s not legal. But I have no idea how many times I’ve gotten a call from someone who claimed that I just called them a minute ago and they want to know why a stranger would be calling them. But I didn’t call… I have no record on my phone of ever contacting that person. I’ve certainly been on the other side of it, too. I get a call from a telemarketer that looks like it could be someone local and I answer because, well… what if it’s someone I know calling from an unfamiliar land line because their cell phone died? Why can’t the FCC put a stop to predatory telemarketers using other people’s legit numbers to trick caller ID?

Look, I know most of this is a rant. And I would genuinely like for you to stop calling me on either of my phones. I’m just saying it makes more sense to keep getting calls on my personal phone rather than my work phone.

Sincerely… blah blah blah…

Feature Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash