Disclaimer: This post is going to be embarrassing.

For me… Not for you so much. In fact, you, the reader, may feel the overwhelming urge to point and mock and laugh. Then again, you may not. It may turn out this post will illicit no emotional response from anyone whatsoever. And if that’s the case, okay.

Anyway, you may remember that I moved into a pretty awesome apartment back in August. If you missed the post where I took everyone on a guided photo tour, click here. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Are you back? It’s pretty awesome, right? Did you see those hardwood floors? I get so many compliments on the hardwood floors from the three guests I’ve had since August. I must confess, I did not install the hardwood floors myself. So I probably shouldn’t accept those compliments.

I’m not sure if I ever mentioned, the apartment includes a few amenities. I mean, there’s a fee for these amenities, of course. But that amenities fee takes care of most utilities, cable, internet, and gives me access to this bike share thing that Roanoke has. Like I’ve ridden a bike since I was in high school…

The amenities also include access to a fitness center in the building. Here’s the thing… I have no idea where this fitness center is located.

My building is actually divided into two. The fitness center is on the other side of the building. I do have access to that side of the building, just as I have access to my own side. But I have yet to access this alleged fitness center.

I’m told it exists. But when I initially toured the building, the fitness center was not part of the tour. I’ve visited and revisited the building’s website and Facebook page and have never found a single picture of what this fitness center looks like. I’ve looked over the available floor plans online and cannot pinpoint the location of the fitness center.

I’m not 100% certain the place exists.

People have asked if I’ve used the building’s fitness center. Friends… family who occasionally check in on me and want to know how I like living here. And I’ve lied. I’ve said that the fitness center is great and that I’ve used it multiple times.

Yesterday, when I returned home from work, I took some time to go into the other side of the building to explore a bit. I walked all over the first floor and couldn’t find it at all. I found the movie theater that our amenities fee also gives residents access to. But that’s easy to find. Because there are signs pointing anyone who can read in the direction of the theater.

There are no signs leading to the fitness center.

I’ve now lived here for nearly six months. In that time, I’ve never found the fitness center. And now, I almost feel like it’s too late to ask the property manager where it’s located. So I guess my next step will be to explore every hallway on every floor of the other side of the building, all the while praying I don’t run into anyone who might ask what I’m doing.

Because how do I explain that I’m looking for the fitness center even though I’ve lived here for six months?

Feature Photo by Danielle Cerullo on Unsplash