Welcome to Rewatching Buffy, the part of the blog where I rewatch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Each Tuesday evening, you’re invited to join me as I attempt to rediscover what made me love this show 20 years ago.

So, when I first mentioned that I’d be doing this, I didn’t receive any negative feedback. Not that the positive feedback that I got was so overwhelming as to make this thing a mandate. But I’m gonna do it. At least through the end of the first season. After that, we’ll see what happens. But, as I’ve said previously, this was my favorite show for a lot of years. Probably still is. So let’s get started, shall we?

Welcome to the Hellmouth

• I forgot that, in the first season, Giles doesn’t do the voice over that tells the audience what the Slayer is. It’s someone with a pseudo trailer announcer voice.
• This dude’s trying to impress this girl by breaking into the high school. He thinks the bad boy thing is gonna be turn on.
• Turns out he’s the first victim. ‘Cause that girl was a vampire. In case you weren’t keeping up.
• Opening credits. Man… these kids all look so young. Well, it was 20 years ago.
• Mrs. Summers: “Try not to get kicked out.” Buffy: “I promise.” We shouldn’t make promises we aren’t prepared to keep.
• What can we assume about the guy hanging out with two of the main characters who was not included in the opening credits? They might as well put him in a red shirt.
• I’d like to see a cage match/insult throw-down between Cordelia Chase and Regina George.
• Dead body in a locker. I’m gonna keep a body count. That’s one.
• Wait… when Buffy went to the library and met Giles, she not-so-subtly avoided the vampire talk. She acts like she doesn’t want to do the Slayer thing anymore. But she’s carrying around a wooden stake in her purse. Mixed signals, Buff.
• Enter: Angel. Weird stalker guy who gives Buffy a cross necklace.
• Buffy arrives at The Bronze, starts chatting up Willow, and is drinking a drink that she never ordered. It was just there. That’s how viruses spread.
• Giles basically tells Buffy to use the Force to sense where the vampires are in the crowd.
• “What is your childhood trauma!?” Cordelia really has some great lines.
• Not-in-the-opening-credits Jesse is now hitting on the vampire girl from the cold open. Starting to make sense why he’s not in the opening credits, kids.
• Willow, when a guy in Sunnydale wants to take a shortcut through a cemetery, it’s a red flag. Run.
• First dusted vampire. Should we add vampires to the body count? Technically, they’re already dead. Separate body count? Yeah. Separate body count.
• Buffy’s first fight. It’s probably a good thing she gets a lot better at this.
• I don’t understand why so many vampires just toy with Buffy. Dude, you’re monologuing. You could fairly easily kill her. Short series.
• And cliffhanger.
• There’s your series premiere. Body count: Humans – 1; Vampires – 1

The Harvest

• Luke, the big vampire who had Buffy pinned down at the end of the last episode burns his hand on the necklace Angel gave her. Good thing she kept the stalker’s gift.
• Let that be a lesson, ladies. Even stalker gifts can be well-intended.
• Things are looking worse for Not-in-the-opening-credits Jesse. Buffy was able to save Willow and Xander. Jesse’s missing. Hmm… Oh, and one more vampire staked.
• Willow proves her usefulness to the group as an extraordinary hacker. It’s 1997, so I assume she’s using AOL.
• When Buffy won’t let Xander come along on her hunt to find Jesse, he whines that he’s “less than a man.” Yes, as a sophomore in high school, you are less than a man.
• Okay, I’m not trying to spoil anything, but we know Angel turns out to be a vampire. We just don’t technically find out for a few more episodes.
• That being said, how did he get in the mausoleum in the middle of the day? The entrance to the underground tunnel is locked from the outside, so he didn’t come from that way. Has been waiting for Buffy to show up since before dawn?
• Willow’s revenge on Cordelia in the computer lab is priceless. “How do we save it?” “Deliver.” Ha.
• Not-in-the-opening-credits Jesse has been turned into a vampire. Add him to the human body count.
• Buffy, with the super human strength, can’t budge the big metal door by herself. But with help from nerdy, less-than-athletic Xander, they manage to hold off a horde of vampires.
• Do all girls have trunks with a false bottom to hide their holy water, crosses, garlic, and various weapons?
• Why does the bouncer at The Bronze ask for ID? High school kids are hanging out there. What do they need ID for?
• The Harvest begins. We see Luke kill two people on screen before Buffy arrives. In the ensuing fight, four vampires are dusted, including Not-in-the-0pening-credits Jesse. That dude died twice in one episode.
• Averted the apocalypse? Let’s not blow this out of proportion. You saved a room full of high school kids from getting slaughtered.
• Body count for The Harvest: Humans – 3; Vampires – 4

Witch

• Aww, Buffy wants to be a cheerleader. Because it’s normal. And she wants to be normal.
• Giles forbids it. So Buffy goes out for the squad anyway. Because she respects the authority of the Watcher.
• Meanwhile, someone’s cooking some pretty thick pea soup in a ginormous cauldron in a dark room.
• Why does Cordelia come up to Willow to begin a conversation? Even if it’s to make fun of someone else in the room, this seems way out of character at this point in their history.
• Amy, another cheerleader hopeful. Always be suspicious of new characters who have speaking parts.
• One of the girls trying out spontaneously combusts. Always be concerned for new characters who have no speaking parts.
• Quick-thinking Buffy put out the flames with a banner. Don’t get to add to the body count. Yet.
• Y’all, if you aren’t watching this too, you’re missing out on some pretty hilarious dialogue.
• Joyce (Buffy’s mom) couldn’t open a crate with a crowbar. Buffy opens it for her using the lightest of touches. Are we not picking up the fact that your daughter is a superhero?
• Amy’s praise of her mother sounds oddly suspicious. Unless her name is Rory Gilmore, a teenage girl really shouldn’t speak so highly of her mother.
• Cordelia is making veiled threats against Amy. Amy seems intimidated.
• Xander is completely oblivious to the fact that Willow is crazy about him. And then he compares her to a guy. Just what every girl dreams of hearing from the unrequited love of her life.
• Buffy and Amy didn’t make the team. They’re alternates.
• A mysterious figure throws a doll that she identifies as Cordelia into the split pea soup. I don’t think that’ll make the soup any better.
• And now Cordelia’s blind.
• I’m starting to think the pea soup isn’t actually pea soup.
• Giles: “Why would someone want to harm Cordelia?” Willow: “Maybe because they met her.”
• They think Amy’s a witch! What?! You know who didn’t see that coming? Cordelia. Because she’s blind.
• Another girl’s mouth closed up. Like Neo in The Matrix. Kinda freaky.
• For someone who spoke so highly of her mother, Amy sure treats the lady horribly.
• Buffy wakes up the next day super-hyper. And kind of drunk. And then develops a high fever.
• What?! Amy is actually her own mother! She switched bodies so she could relive her glory days!
• It’s like Freaky Friday. But more malevolent.
• Giles, a librarian by trade, manages to outwitch the witch and reverses all the spells.
• Amy’s mom accidentally banishes herself to some other dimension.
• Ha! Turns out she’s trapped inside her old cheerleading trophy.
• Sadly, no one died in this episode. And there was nary a vampire to be seen.

Well, those are the first three episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Are we still okay with my doing this each Tuesday? Was I too long winded? Let me know. I actually do care about your opinions.