A Dater’s Guide to Disney Princesses: Ariel

the-little-mermaid-silhouetteWelcome back to a series of blog posts exploring the date-ability of Disney’s princesses. This week we come to Ariel, also known as The Little Mermaid. This is one of my favorites and is the film that is responsible for beginning the Disney Renaissance, which continued through 1999 with Tarzan and Fantasia 2000.

This is the first new Disney animated feature that I remember seeing in the theater. Now, I had seen Disney films in the theater before. After all, Disney used to be on board with re-releasing their animated classics in theaters every decade or so. I’d seen Snow White and Sleeping Beauty in the theater as a kid. But when their renaissance hit, there would be no more re-releasing their films (unless, of course, they can come up with a way to make it a gimmick, like offering a third dimension and charging an extra $5.00 per ticket).

So The Little Mermaid was new in my childhood. It probably really introduced me to the Disney animated musical. For the first time, we have a princess who has a very strong personality. She’s assertive and rebellious and it gets her into a whole lot of trouble. Which is probably a good thing, otherwise, it would have been a boring movie.

Ariel is a collector of random surface-world items and happens to fall in love with a handsome prince. Don’t they all?

Should You Date Her?

Absolutely not.

I don’t want you to think I’m being negative with the ladies of the official Disney Princess lineup. Because, so far, I have been. I was positive with Leia and Eilonwy, but they’re not official… yet (we should start a petition).

I like Ariel. I really do. She has a fantastic singing voice. But she was willing to sacrifice her greatest asset to a sketchy sea-witch. So, right off the bat, you know her decision making skills are pretty poor.

And she makes this decision based on the fact that she’s fallen “in love” with a human prince. No, Ariel, that’s not love you’re feeling. You’re 16. Your body is changing and these are hormones you’re feeling. That’s not love. It’s more of a lustful infatuation. Argue for “love at first sight” all you want. You just can’t fall in love with a man you’ve seen for approximately three and a half minutes from a distance dancing and playing a snarfblatt on a ship.

Also, she’s a hoarder. I know, I called her a “collector” in an earlier paragraph, but I was being nice. Have you seen that trove of hers? Who needs 20 thingamabobs? I mean, really. And it’s never enough. In a direct quote from Ariel’s anthem, “Part of Your World,” she says, “You want thingamabobs? I got 20! But who cares? No big deal. I want more.”

Prince Eric, look out. You could give her the world and it will still not be enough. It may seem simple to give her a lifetime supply of dinglehoppers with which she can brush her hair, but do you really want a palace full of useless forks?

And, again, I feel the need to bring up the age issue. As I mentioned before, she’s 16. Sure, that probably means she’s old enough to date. But she is just 16. And she’s kind of a delinquent. Why is she signing contracts as a minor?

I get it. She’s a real princess. She’s the possible heiress to the Seven Seas (though, as the youngest of seven, she’s not inheriting anything). But where’s her mother? As the youngest of Triton’s daughters, there’s a good chance she never had much of a maternal influence in her life. With only an angry merman to raise her and her six sisters, she’s bound to have some serious daddy issues.The Little Mermaid - Splash.gifWhat Did I Think of the Other Princesses So Far?


10 thoughts on “A Dater’s Guide to Disney Princesses: Ariel

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